Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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