I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
