Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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