Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
