so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
