i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just puked most of my soul out..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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