Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You made out with two different species that night
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
