And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
