Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
