Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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