My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
