I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
