I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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