it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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