dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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