My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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