Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
