Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The air was thick with penises
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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