Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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