Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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