I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
