ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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