How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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