I want to have your abortion
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You pole danced in your parka.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
