my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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