Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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