We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
