is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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