Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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