it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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