doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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