i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
