It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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