Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
