your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
