I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
