pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
