I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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