you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
