there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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