Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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