He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
