you will always have a special place in my vag
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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