I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
