In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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