she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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