I have demons in me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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