there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
