why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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