I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
