I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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