normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
