So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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